Notes from a barf bag

Next to me, a remarkably slim 20-something is taking up all her seat and 50% of mine, a feat she manages while munching donut holes and watching Gillmore Girls on her laptop. It’s mystifying but rather than comment on her wildly swinging legs and arms that keep bumping me, I make my lg/xl frame as small as possible, smashing myself against the plane wall like I’m drywall putty. Oh, for paper! How’d I’d eviscerate her in fiction!